Jeff &
Judee
United in Holy Matrimony
March 13, 1998
Theirs is a love story
that only God could have arranged. Almost twelve years ago, Judee and Jeff were
introduced by mutual friends. Jeff is serving a life sentence* in prison. They
began by writing letters, then visiting once in a while, sharing their faith in
the Lord Jesus Christ together. Over a period of several months, their love
grew and blossomed in these very unlikely circumstances.
Many have asked how
such a relationship could have any grounds, how it could thrive...why would
someone want to marry someone doing a life sentence? These were questions often
wrestled with over the past few years. But, God in His infinite wisdom had a
lot to teach this couple about Himself and each other along the way... March
13th, 1998 was the day they publicly expressed their love and commitment to
each other in the eyes of a few friends and, more importantly, before God.
Since we weren't able
to have many guests, this is our way of sharing our ceremony with our friends
and family... thank you for joining us! Please sign the guestbook and let us
know you were here...God bless you!
What is a prison
wedding like? I'm sure it's different, depending on where you are...here's our
experience:
No music, no flowers,
no pictures... simplicity... a few friends, each other ,
the Lord...and love! The Springfield State Prison is a former college made into
a medium security facility. The visiting room is on the lower level of where
the library used to be. (The prison library is on the upper level). We were
married in a semi-private room off of the visiting room with a guard looking
on. Present were: Jeff & Judee (of course), Judee's
three sons - Jeremy, Jonathan and Joshua, special friends Sharon, Joe and Karla
and our minister, Pastor Dennis. Pastor Dennis used to be a prison chaplain and
was chaplain at the University where Judee just graduated. It was special for
us to be married by someone we both knew. (People being married at the prison
don't always have that option).
The bride wore a
simple cream-colored dress with a flower print, the groom in his blue jeans and
gray t-shirt (no special allowances here - but he was handsome as ever!) We all
stood in a kind of semi-circle... small and intimate.
Pastor Dennis read
from I Corinthians 13:4-9a
"Love suffers
long and is kind: love does not envy; love does not parade itself, it not
puffed up: does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked,
thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears
all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love
never fails..."
We were reminded that
due to the circumstances, we may have to deal with more of the long suffering
(not necessarily with each other), envy (not having what others might have),
bearing all things (including the system).
We exchanged
traditional vows - and pledged to love, honor and cherish each other until
death parts us.
Jeff & I wrote
words to say to each other during the ring cermony.
We were both nervous and had to read them...
From Jeff to
Judee:
Lord, I first want to
give you all the glory and praise! Judee, I know the Lord has brought us
together. On this day, we give ourselves away to each other - I know first we
give everything to the Lord.
Honey, I want us to
reflect and always be God's example for others. Judee, I am willing to
sacrifice everything for you. I want to always make you feel happy. I will care
for you as I know the Lord wants me to care for you.
I must learn to
appreciate all your needs, helping you to become all you want to be. I must
honor and respect and show my love to you always. In our commitment to Christ
and to one another, no matter what problems we may have or conflicts, we will
continue to serve and be committed to the Lord.
May we always express
our love and caring in both words and actions. May we
continue to pray together and give God all the glory.
May we serve the Lord together always and forever and God will continue to bless
us both.
From Judee to
Jeff:
Remember the song I
sang for you on tape, "Only God Could Love You More?" I started
thinking of all the "Only God..." things
that we experience in our lives. Only God could hang the stars... Only God
could have dreamed up the universe and made it all work... and then I thought
about it on a more personal level.
Only God could have
arranged our meeting - especially if you look at the life I was living only a
year or two before. Only God would know who would be perfect for me. Quite a
few years earlier, He had given me a standard for a mate when I was broken and
disillusioned with married life. I was determined to stick with the standard. I
tease when I tell people about my "standard" and say that God forgot
to include that he not be in prison ... but God knew...
Jeff, you bring so
much joy into my life...you've taught me to appreciate the small things and to
take life one day at a time (I still have a ways to go on that one!) Your
example of discipline in your walk with the Lord provides me with security and
also a standard to set my sites on in my own life. Your positive attitude in
the midst of all the negatives, humbles me - I
complain to much about trivial things. Your circumstances (and now, our
circumstances) have taught me to look at the bigger picture and look beyond my
own pain to reach out to others.
Only God could have
put you in my life to show me things about myself...so I can be more like Him.
Only God deserves the honor and praise for the love we have for each
other...only God can sustain us for what lies ahead...only with God at the
center of our lives, can He be glorified and we be fulfilled in our purpose for
Him.
Honey, I hope I can be
the help-meet in your life, to be what God wants me to be for you. I pledge to
love you, honor you, cherish and respect you, whether you are behind these
walls or whether God brings us together on the outside. We will take it one day
at a time...and be what God wants us to be.
And yes, we
were allowed to kiss!
Inspirations and
examples in my life are my parents, Bruce & Sherrel, married over 52 years
and my grandparents, June & Carl who were married over 60 years.
Thank you for sharing
with us! Grace to you and peace
from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. (Colossians 1:2b)
*life sentence in
Jeff's story [Introduction] [Jeff's
Background] [Case Synopsis 1981 - 2001]
Jeff and Judee's
Story [Jeff & Judee] [Wedding]
[Our
Hope]
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